My first gut reaction is to tell people to take off work if they need to when going through a breakup but in all honesty the more I’ve thought about it and the more I’ve worked with my clients I more often than not urge my clients to go into the office.
As I’m sure you’ve heard me say before, going through a breakup is like grieving someone who is still alive, and in some ways that’s more difficult than grieving someone who has died.
Organizations typically have leave for those who have lost a close relative or loved one but they do not have time off specifically delegated for breakups or divorce. Not to say you can’t take PTO or sick leave for something like this, and if you don’t feel comfortable sharing the reason, you don’t have to.
Initially I felt this was an issue but what I found was …
Going into the office does a couple of things:
Human interaction
It’s a playground to learn how to generate feelings of motivation, focus, determination even when you’re processing negative emotion
Bonding and connection with coworkers while your personal life is going through a sort of isolation is good
Gives your mind something to do
Now this doesn’t mean you go into the office and constantly talk about your breakup or what’s going on. Which is funny coming from me because anyone who knows me ESPECIALLY my previous coworkers in the corporate world KNOW that I over share rather than under share.
I was lucky enough to have a very supportive manager and team while going through my breakup. It was something I could share with them but I never obsessed over it with them if that makes sense? Leave that kind of talk for your friends.
While you’re at the office focus on work, show up, over deliver, provide tremendous value to them. They are supporting you through this hard time by giving you a job, money, resources, and allowing you to grow, learn, develop and create a name for yourself.
The more you focus on this the less your mind focuses on the breakup.
Go to work, show up for yourself. Be the bomb bada$$ you know you are. You’ve got this, you can do this.
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Sending so much love!
Dorothy
