Someone once asked me how do you have motivation during a breakup? How do you get up and do the regular activities that need to be done just to live out your life when all you want to do is stay in bed? I found this fascinating because I had literally felt the same way that morning (not currently going through a breakup).
I often times wake up at 7:30am, the light is shining through my bedroom window and the first thing that comes to my mind is a slew of overwhelm, anxiety, sadness, negative emotions and negative thoughts. The funniest part to me is there’s no reason, like my life is everything I wanted it to be. I’m not currently going through a breakup and honestly when I was going through my breakup I had the opposite thing happen where I was SUPER motivated. I would wake up at 4:30am and hit the gym, yoga, meditation all before I started work at 8am. Later I found out that’s because I felt that productivity = self worth. Lol that was a whole thing we will talk about later …
Long story short, we all feel unmotivated sometimes. I believe there is this stigma that after a someone goes through a breakup, they are supposed to stay in bed, watch sad movies, eat ice cream and that’s considered taking care of themselves.
I want to respectfully disagree.
There is a period where you must process your pain and not try to actively “fix” it. That pain will come in waves.
In the meantime, I believe that “taking care of yourself” is learning to process that pain, not avoid, react or resist it.
It’s showing up for yourself when no one else will.
It’s learning who you are, what YOUR beliefs and values are and determining if you want to keep them.
It’s journaling for awareness of what’s inside you.
It’s creating art.
It’s learning what sparks joy for you from within.
It’s waking up, breathing, respecting your mind and body.
With that being said, you can’t just tell yourself you’re going to do these things that I listed off. You must make a mindset shift.
You must move from thinking breakups in general are a bad thing to believing breakups are an end to a chapter but a BEGINNING to the next chapter. A chapter with unlimited possibilities.
Believing that a breakup happened for you, not to you.
Believing that this breakup is about to make you, not break you.
Believing that the universe has a grander plan for you, that the universe put you together with that other human only to take them out of your life again, for a reason, with a purpose.
And most importantly, believing all of this is available to you today, right now.
Ok, so now, how do I do that? How do I take care of myself after a breakup?
How to take care of yourself after a breakup:
Take a moment right now to write down 7 reasons this breakup happened FOR you not TO you.
DAILY:
To practice this daily, keep a journal next to your bed, set your alarm for 5 minutes early or incorporate this into your morning routine. Each morning as soon as you wake up, write down
why this breakup happened for you, try to come up with a new reason each time you write
then expand and why is this day happening for you?
And lastly, what new opportunity is available to you now that your last chapter closed and this new chapter opened?
One of my most recent clients is going through a divorce and was focusing on all she had lost and felt as if her family was ending. As we worked together, she began to recognize that it was only the beginning, and there were so many more opportunities available to her now that, the prior chapter closed. It was an amazing moment.
Want to work together as you embark on the next chapter of your life? Sign up for a free breakthrough session where we work on helping you take care of yourself in the best way for you.
Sending so much love,
Dorothy
